Life Blog - Achieve your New Year’s Resolution

New Year’s Resolutions are a global tradition that have taught us to dream big, aim high, and hope to land amongst the stars. They allow us to catch a glimpse of what the best version of ourselves could be. But only around 12% of people actually achieve their resolutions. 

I could tell you a bunch of psychological rationale as to why around 80% of people don’t achieve their resolutions. But I think you are more interested in how you can be in the 12%. 

So here are some key tips.

1) Change the way you think about them.

Instead of thinking of them as Resolutions, have them become your ‘Life Goals’ for the year.  And only put goals on your list that are important to you. Ask yourself is it on your list because you think you should do it? Or is it something that will improve your life or make you happy? And unlike a resolution which is a firm decision to do something, a life goal can change as we grow or learn. Ask yourself if the goal is still important to you and ask why you haven’t been able to achieve it. Some goals do take longer than 12 months, other goals may need to change.

One of my life goals was to ‘travel’ but it was on my list every year. When I asked myself why this was, I told myself it was because I didn’t have the money, or I was busy at work. I realised that I was traveling though: visiting family, travelling for work. But that wasn’t what I meant. I changed the goal to ‘travel somewhere new and have an adventure.’ Be clear in what you want from your life goal and acknowledge the fact you may have achieved it, even if it wasn’t what you originally meant.

2) What are the steps you need to do to achieve your ‘Life Goal’?

Just because you say it or add it to your list, doesn’t mean you will achieve it. Break your goal into steps. They don’t have to be big steps; they just have to move you in the direction you want to go. You don’t run a marathon on the first day, however doing one thing a day, no matter how small, will help you get there. Small steps are better than taking no steps at all.

One of my clients had the life goal to ‘get a new job’. He broke the life goal into steps by asking himself questions about what he needed to know before he got his new job. Questions like; What did I want in a job? What qualifications do I need? And is that job good for my work, life, family balance? Once he answered these questions, he was able to take bigger steps: rewrite my resume, apply for a set number of jobs each week, learn how to be great in job interviews. But some steps may take longer and may need to be broken down further along the way. When he didn’t get any interviews, he went back to his resume step and added a few more steps such as: ask a professional, research resumes online, rewrite my resume. This step took him longer than he thought, but improving that step allowed him to achieve his life goal to get a new job.

3) What are your strengths?

What are the skills, resources, people, or other things that you have that will help you achieve your goals? For some people it is hard to think of what we are good at, but it comes easier the more we do it. If your new year’s resolution is to lose weight, then your strength could be something internal, like I am a good cook or I like cooking and I can create some great healthy meals. Or they can be external, I have a gym membership or a park nearby that I can use. 

4) Who will support you?

We all lose motivation. But we can get back onto our goal if we have a cheerleader who can encourage us to keep going. Who is this person for you? Is it a friend, work mate, teacher, personal trainer, or family member? This person can encourage you to keep going, teach you a new skill, or even share in your life goal and be part of the adventure. 

Sometimes you may feel you don’t have any family or friends to support you. This was the case for one client who was suffering from anxiety. The only support she listed was her counsellor. She worked with this by making regular appointments with her counsellor so she could talk about her goal of experiencing less anxiety, change her steps, and add new goals along the way. She took the step of going to a support group and began to talk more with her daughter’s friend’s parents. Eventually she made strong friendships that she could talk to and who she could add to her support list.

5) Where do you need to grow?

And how will you manage it? Previously we would have called them weaknesses, but they are only a weakness if we don’t learn from them. Acknowledging that you may not have all the answers or skills to achieve your goals is a great step. The second is not to get disheartened by that, but to find a way to manage or conquer those weaknesses.

If we took the example of the man who wanted a new job, he did great acknowledging that he may not have the skills to write a great resume and that may have stopped him getting his job. He found professionals who could help write it for him and teach him skills on how to write resumes and respond in criteria selection letters. The same can go for any life goal, if your goal is to learn the piano then your weakness is that you can’t play the piano, but there are plenty of resources available to you, like piano teachers or download an app.

6) What will stand in your way? 

Things will always get in the way. That is Life. But knowing what could get in your way and thinking of ways around it is a great way to keep moving forward. Are you self-sabotaging, do you have negative thoughts, are there major events in your life that you will need to take time out for, or are there other commitments like children or work? You can learn different coping strategies, or develop positive thoughts, or work on your life goals around major events and make sure you have decided on a time to get back to them.

An example of this was a client who wanted to start her own business. She realised that she also had to juggle children and a part time job as well. To help manage these commitments she scheduled in set days that she would work on her business. She also acknowledged that when things got too hard or were taking too long, she would lose motivation or start thinking she wasn’t good enough to do it. She put in supports to help her through those times and motivate her. When she was feeling like this, she would take smaller, achievable steps and more time for self-care.

Are you ready to start your own Life Goal Plan?